As CCAW grew, I had to learn how to lead. It wasn’t always pretty. At times, I was very uncomfortable doing it. Leaders have to make tough decisions. Unpopular decisions. Sometimes you do your best, but you get it wrong anyway. Like all leaders, I experienced self-doubt. Eventually, though, I settled on a style that worked for me.

I’m not lively or outspoken, so being a boisterous leader was out. It just didn’t feel right. But that was OK. I chose to lead by example instead. It’s subtle but powerful, effective, and authentic. I communicated how I envisioned CCAW operating (fairly, respectfully, and ethically) and was deliberate in aligning my behavior with that vision. I tried to hold myself to the same standard that I held everyone else to. I wasn’t special or exempt. The team noticed and followed my lead. They treated everyone they interacted with as they would want to be treated and we became known as a well-run, upstanding organization.

No one is perfect and I’m sure I had my days, but I tried to always be deliberative. Of course, I did make bad decisions sometimes, and here are my takeaways from them:

• Owning it – Acknowledge your mistake quickly. I tried to reflect and share what I learned from a bad decision. I wanted my team to know that it’s OK when things don’t turn out as planned as long as we learn from the situation. They appreciated it.
• Doubling down – I lost my team’s respect when I refused to own a mistake and instead doubled down. Don’t throw good money after bad. Once respect is lost, it’s difficult to regain it. And it’s impossible to win the war if the troops stop following.
• Letting go – Leaders can’t make all the decisions. It’s impossible to know everything about a complex organization. I learned to acknowledge my gaps and defer to others who had more knowledge in specific areas. Empowering people motivates them.
• Listening – Sometimes people just want to be heard. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and their own perspective. It’s OK to disagree with someone, but it’s disrespectful to them when you refuse to listen. And sometimes you learn something by being open to what others have to say.

We can’t expect perfection from anyone. But leaders should hold themselves to a high standard—one that’s at least as high as the one to which they hold their team. If they don’t, their lack of integrity will erode trust and divide the team over time.

What have you learned from your mistakes as a leader?